Faux Fitness – 8 Inane & Pointless Pieces of Exercise Equipment
An absurd assortment of exercise machines and devices more likely to provide comic relief than fitness results.
1. Hawaii Chair
Must-See Video!
Manufacturer Claim: “You don’t have to exercise, the Hawaii Chair does it all for you!”
Reality: The ability to sit cannot make you fit.
Online Comments:
“Is this for real? Only in the USA”
“I am deeply offended”
“I’d like to see this design applied to toilets…no wait, I wouldn’t like to see that at all.”
“I want this.”
“I’iam ttypying wjhile inmn a Haaawwiaii cChair righhgt noqw~!”
Recommended Alternative: Schwinn 431 Elliptical Trainer
2. Slendertone Bottom Toner
Manufacturer Claim: “Firm your bottom with clinically demonstrated Electric Muscle Stimulation (EMS) technology.”
Reality: Firm your bottom line by getting your money back.
Online Comments:
“It just made my butt itch.”
“This could affect your intestinal activity.”
“This is not strength training! It’s just too weak to cause any change in musculature.”
Recommended Alternative: Marcy Recumbent Stationary Magnetic Bike
3. Gliding Disk Exercise System
Manufacturer’s Claim: “Incorporates body sculpting, balance, flexibility, core & cardio.”
Reality: Use frisbees for a comparable workout.
Online Comments:
“Finally, I can get throw out all my home gym equipment.”
“At least I’ll save on batteries and electricity.”
“Can I just use paper plates?”
Recommended Alternative: INSANITY with Shaun T. from Beachbody
4. The Treadmill Bike
Manufacturer Claim: “The future or urban transportation.”
Reality: Pointless.
Online Comments:
“I can walk faster on my hands.”
“It feels like exercise just getting through this video”
“If this were only in the X Games…”
“For people who´s dream was to be a guinea pig”
“Must…obtain…treadmill…bike…”
Recommended Alternative: Bowflex TC3000 Treadclimber
5. Vibrating Belt Machine
Manufacturer Claim: “Vibrate fat away.”
Reality: Accept your cellulite.
Online Comments:
“An oldy but not a goody.”
“Whoah..1970’s flashback.”
Recommended Alternative: LifeSpan Fitness TR 3000-HRC Treadmill
6. Leg Magic
Manufacturer Claim: “Get Super Model Legs. Spot reduction in a few 60-second workouts a day.”
Reality: This machine can tone leg muscles but spot reduction is a myth. You’ve got to lose the fat over the muscle, and that means losing fat all over the body.
Online Comments:
“One single repetitive motion is not enough to make you look like a fitness model.”
“Hurts your back and joints more than your muscles.”
“Why does Leg Magic look so much like my daughter’s scooter?”
Recommended Alternative: Pilates Power Gym
7. Power TX Vibro Exercise
Manufacturer Claim: “Tone and firm your shape with virtually no effort. The vibrations will do the work for you!”
Reality: Looks like a scale. Measurable results do not come without effort.
Online Comments:
“Rubbish.”
“The next thing I knew I was looking for a place to store it.”
Recommended Alternative: A scale: Omron Body Fat Monitor and Scale HBF-500
8. Red Fitness – XL System
Manufacturer Claim: “Lose up to 4 inches using the power of core-midsection rotation.”
Reality: Lose up to $200 using your credit card.
Recommended Alternatives: RevAbs with Brett Hoebel
Online Comments:
“A barstool with handles.”
- Have you used any of these?
- Disagree with our criticisms?
- Know of others that should have made the list?
- Leave a comment below and let us know what you think!
Also See
- Stamina Pilates Magic Circle | Exercise Resistance Ring with Workout DVD
- “Burn The Fat, Feed The Muscle” | Secret Techniques of the World’s Best Bodybuilders and Fitness Models
- Tony Horton’s 10 Minute Trainer Workout DVDs & Resistance Band | Super Stacking P90X Alternative
- Power 90 In-Home Boot Camp | Maximum Muscle Definition & Body Sculpting DVD Fitness Program
- ProForm Perspective ES Treadmill | With Flat Screen TV and Premium Sound System
Great post!
Some sections of the fitness industry really get me upset.
The sad thing is, lots of people fall for the advertising
Great website and post.
Just want to comment on the Tredmill bike.
Seriously?!
This invention is worse than Homer Simpson’s everything’s ok alarm. For the record, it seemed that I was watching an SNL commerical instead of a serious advertisment for exercise equipment.
I’m pretty sure #4 is supposed to be a joke.
That treadmill bike is amazing! I am impressed with the engineering they did to put it together. It looks like it was some sort of video project that a team put together.
Um, the treadmill bike isn’t a real product, for those who are unaware. That was just a fun silly video somebody put together for youtube specifically. As for the gliding discs, those are a very real item that can be very effective. I don’t use them, but I know many who do. And yes, paper plates actually do work very well.
We used those glider pad thingys at our bootcamp the other day. They actually work pretty good, im not sure why they are on here.
I can’t stop laughing at the treadmill bike. You can almost hear the announcer trying to contain her laughter too!!
As a *trying* to reform exercise infomercial junkie I am ROFL….lololol
Oh this is too funny and I’m glad to see that none of my actual fav’s made it on the list.
Don’t hate me because I just bought “The Firm” you know that wave rocking back and forth deal. I am hoping it will improve my surfing abilities and be fun so don’t hate me because I’m beautiful
I’m pretty sure the treadmill bike is a joke
WOW I cannot believe some of the things they come up with…it’s unreal. I think one of the worst things I ever invested in was an elliptical..i still dont understand how in the world that works out any of your muscles! Great post btw!
yeah, the treadmill bike is clearly a joke. and a funny one, at that.
WOW!!! Thank you for making me laugh. I feel bad for the people that actually buy this stuff.
This is so funny!!!
I’ll do anything to loose weight, as long as I only have to buy it and store it in my basemant!
Actually, some one actually invented a treadmill bike.
Very nice site!
Thanks for making putting a smile on my face
Thank for sharing !
hahah.. nice.. lol
That ’s great ! Amazing article . very very love this . many thank
What a great web site. I remember my parents having the Vibrating Belt Machine. Does that age me?.
I really think the treadmill bike would be to much work
Thank you for your resource .. Great site !
What a great site thank you.